Words are as painful as a cut

Do you ever feel your a Hypocrite. Well when i read my stories i feel like i am just as bad as them. When i call someone a slut i almost cry at my own self pity. When i cut myself i only feel save in my skin. I feel like when i wrote slut into my thigh i was lying at the time but now i know i am telling the truth i can't help but want to cover it so quickly if anyone even caught a glimpse. There's also the words 'bitch' and 'whore' Both of which make me crying in pain. Why do i feel this why and mock the others.